It’s Time to Get Scared People

By Eric Zanzucchi (@ericzanzucchi)

The rioters in Egypt and Libya got a lot of media attention for their attacks on U.S. Embassies and thus they’ve spawned copycats. Protesters jumped the U.S. Embassy gate in Tunisia, yet the article trending most on CNN is about some nude photos of Kate Middleton that have circulated. Are we saying that seeing naked photos of celebrities is more important than our safety? It’s time to get scared people.

Afghans are walking the streets chanting “death to America”. OK I get it; we’ve heard that song and dance before. There are protests in the streets of Iraq, Syria, and Jerusalem. If it’s just protests I’d rather watch this video of a cute baby rhino in Pittsburgh. Look at the pretty rhino. C’mon it’s time to get scared people.

The German Embassy in Khartoum has been set on fire and rocks have been thrown at the U.S. Consulate in India. Oh dear things are escalating. Once they start throwing rocks and setting fires we’ve entered into that Los Angeles Lakers just won the NBA Finals riot tier. By the way, did any of you sports fans watch the game last night? The Packers beat the Bears 23-10. But enough about sports, it’s time to get scared people.

Now they’ve went too far. Armed men set fire to KFCs in Tripoli and Lebanon. This can not be tolerated. Arson is one thing, but this a hate crime within a hate crime. Not only are they targeting American symbols, but this is one largely frequented by the African-American community. This will not stand. Racism against whitey is one thing, but this is too much. Fried chicken does sound good for dinner. I think I’ll go online and find the location nearest to me. Oooooh turns out it’s less than a mile away. Well when were all done eating, it’s time to get scared people.

Well actually it’s been a while since I looked at those photos of Kate Middleton. I’m going to get back to those. Fuck being scared. I’ve got Kate Middleton, rhinos, the NFL, and fried chicken. That’s a full fucking day all day everyday. Maybe rioters just need to get a life.