BREAKING NEWS: TYRION LANNISTER ACTOR PETER DINKLAGE REPLACED IN SEASON FOUR

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HBO has announced that Peter Dinklage, the actor who plays Tyrion Lannister from its popular television show Game of Thrones, is retiring from playing the role. Mr. Dinklage has won many supporting actor awards for his role as the intelligent, Machiavellian Tyrion.

HBO has announced that the actor replacing Mr. Dinklage will be none other than David Faustino who is known for his roles as Bud Bundy from the 1990’s classic Married with Children and the voice of Mako from the animated children’s television show, The Legend of Korra.

HBO has elaborated on how they will explain this transformation in-universe: “Of course, we’ve done this before with Gregor Clegane, the Mountain that Rides. We’ve just replaced the actor with another when the first is unable to act. Mr. Faustino will simply kneel as he acts and we will use advanced CGI techniques to make sure he can be the same stature as Mr. Dinklage. We have no shortage of talent here in Westeros, mind the pun.”

Furthermore, HBO has stated that they plan other changes in their adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s work: “Things are shaking up in Westeros with Jon Snow as he navigates his stay with the Wildlings beyond the wall. We actually expect Jon to simply marry Ygritte and start a family. He won’t be his usual brooding self in season four! We’re also deciding that we’re changing an important fact from the books: we’re not killing King Joffery in season three. He will be returning for a fourth season.”

They continue about this surprising change: “We think the interaction between Mr. David Faustino and Mr. Jack Gleeson, who plays King Joffery Bartheron, will be remarkable and we think our fans will like it. Joffery will be a bigger cunt alive on season four than he will be this season.”

George R.R. Martin has made comments about the changes, “I give them two thumbs up! Who knew adding more sex and violence to my work would be so profitable!? When they told me they wanted Joff back, I immediately told my agent to have George Lucas begin adapting the script of my new book, Joffery the Great and Powerful, to screen. Winter is coming!”

What do you think about this surprising turn of events!